Bebe, let’s use CD… I’m not ready to be a father now thinks 🤔.”
Bebe adjusted her wig slowly and stared at him like NEPA just took light during Champions League final.
“CD?” she repeated. “Is it music you want to play or what?”
Kunle cleared his throat like a man about to defend his life in court.
“Bebe, you know say I love you eh.But fatherhood? That thing is expensive.School fees, diapers, naming ceremony, aunties coming to stay for six months… ah ah.My salary is not smiling yet.”
Bebe folded her arms.
“So all the love you were shouting yesterday was on credit?”
“No no no,” Kunle panicked. “Love is cash! But baby is bank loan.”
He started calculating with his fingers like an accountant possessed by fear.
“Do you know how much baby milk is now? One tin is like fuel price. And diapers? That thing finishes faster thanmy data bundle.”
Bebe rolled her eyes.
“But when you were forming Superman, you didn’t remember CD.”
Kunle stood up and started pacing like a motivational speaker.
“Bebe,listen.I’m planning my future.I want to be a prepared father.The type that buys baby stroller,not wheelbarrow.”
She laughed.
“So what are you now?”
“I’m a boyfriend on budget.”
Just then,Kunle’s phone buzzed.It was his friend Sola.
Sola texted: ‘Guy, my baby just pooed on me. Run while you can.’
Kunle showed Bebe the message with shaking hands.
“You see? Evidence!”
Bebe shook her head, laughing.
“You men are funny.So what happens if CD fails?”
Kunle froze.His soul left his body and came back with fear.
“If CD fails… then I will accept my destiny. But at least let destiny catch me trying.”
Bebe burst into laughter.
“Okay okay, Mr Future Planner. Let’s use CD.”
Kunle jumped like he won jackpot.
“Thank you! You just saved a potential village meeting!”
But as he was celebrating, Bebe added calmly:
“By the way… my period is late.”
Silence.
Kunle slowly sat down.
“Bebe… how late?”
“Like… government project late.”
Kunle swallowed hard.
“So… CD or no CD… I might still be promoted?”
Bebe smiled wickedly.
“Congratulations in advance, Daddy.”
Kunle looked up at the ceiling.
“God… I said I’m not ready, not that I’m refusing.”
A man can say “Bebe let’s use CD”, but destiny sometimes says “Use naming ceremony.” 🤣🤣🤣
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